Language is wine upon the lips

One of my favourite quotes is by Virginia Woolf: ‘Language is wine upon the lips’ she said to her husband Leonard one evening, over a bottle of Blue Nun. What a lovely sentiment. Profound, enigmatic, erotic. Note what she did not say. She did not say: ‘Language is Dr Pepper upon the lips. ’ Woolf made the connection specifically between the grape and the gob, fine language and fine wine. You know what? I think she was onto something. It forms part of my Grand Theory of Wine. Let me explain. Wine has numerous consumer benefits: it loosens the tongue, relaxes the mind, facilitates intelligent conversation. In vino veritas, in tropicanas sanitas, as I always say. I lived in Italy for a bit and while I was there, I embraced the grape, boy did I embrace the grape, sheesh. My partner and I sampled as many wines as we could, recording our impressions on photocopied tasting sheets. Our quest took commitment, a robust and determined liver, an endless supply of cheese, olives and Ibuprofen. For nearly three years we swirled, sniffed, swished and swallowed. My fella, a thoughtful man, would give measured, precise descriptions dutifully using the adjectives provided on the sheet. The bouquet was ‘pleasant’, viscosity: ‘normal’, fruit aroma: ‘positive’, general appeal: ‘attractive’, acidity: ‘refreshing’, taste: ‘herbaceous’, overall balance: ‘good