What it means to not be able to see myself thoroughly.

When I look back at my school days up until now, I always had that one friend who is the “little miss perfect”. She did well in school, had many friends, and had a loving family. She was always seen as a kind, polite, person who had her life together, and I thought so too until I saw what was going on in her. Now, however, this could have been a normal story about my envy, if I wasn’t the “little miss perfect”. Faking drains one’s well-being, and with this experience, I say with some certainty that the theme of façade of perfection is a concept suitable in this novel, It’s kind of a funny story because it shows how dangerous it is to fake one’s well-being. In the novel, our main character Craig is not the most social person, he does not and can not socialize with people a lot and avoids telling them his true state. He also has to build up a fake ego to make sure he appears fine on the outside. Why does he do that? You might ask. This is because Craig has the fear that he would not be sincerely appreciated if he showed people his true self. This does not only apply to Craig, people who have a compulsion of being perfect, the façade of perfection, all have this fear which only worsens their true inner side. For example, in the novel, Craig has been to many therapists and psychiatrists before and had numerous chances to explain his mental and physical condition. However, he has a hard time explaining his depression and can not comfortably open himself up. To add to that, people around him such as his family and friends are all in shock when Craig told them he checked himself into the hospital. It shows how faking one’s well-being and not truly being honest can not be easily noticed, even though you are pretty close to that person. In chapter 15 of this novel, Craig goes “I’m about to get revealed as a fake, I’ve already been revealed as a fake but I don’t know it yet; I know I’m a fake and pretend not to. ” when he starts cycling(overthinking). That statement shows how Craig is afraid of revealing his true emotions because deep down he knows that he is faking his well-being and starts to think about the consequences he and his loved ones will face when he revealed himself. People who fake their happiness and wellness are also damaged severely, it’s not just the ones who realize the truth. People who fake their state tend to push away loved ones which leads to isolation and depression. For Craig, that would be pushing away Aaron, Nia, and his family. It’s like an endless circulation of depression; I’m depressed, I fake that I’m fine, People get worried, I push them away, I don’t have anyone, and I’m more depressed. The book and the theme have meaning to me since I saw myself inside a bit. I reflected on Craig as I read the book, and I wanted to show that just because some people seem to have all the necessities in life, it’s not that they can not get depressed. People should not lock it all in themselves, when the backfire hits at some point in your life, you would have lost tons of time in your precious life struggling to find a way out. I’m throwing this message to me, to you, and to Craig. Façade of perfection, or putting up fake well-being is a good theme to put in this novel to point out how holding it all in all alone can backfire so hard.