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The idea is relevant, but they have failed to explain why cars cause traffic jams or give examples

The idea is relevant, but they have failed to explain why cars cause traffic jams or give examples RY7GG

. Band 7- Gives relevant ideas, and these are developed with explanations or examples, but these ideas may be too general or lack focus. Example- The main problem causing traffic jams is too many cars. In many cities around the world, there are lots of cars, and this causes traffic jams. For example, the number of cars purchased in developing countries is increasing yearly. This student has presented a clear position, but they have given a very general explanation, and their example lacks focus and is not specifically linked to the main point. Band 8 – Gives relevant ideas and these are developed with focused and specific ideas and examples. Example- The main problem causing traffic jams is too many cars. When we have more vehicles than a city’s infrastructure was designed for, it leads to congestion. For example, Ho Chi Minh City was designed to cope with around 500, 000 cars, and the city now has over 2 million cars, resulting in chronic traffic problems. This student has explained their point very well, explaining exactly why they think too many cars are the problem and giving a very specific and relevant example to prove their point. If you can’t think of a specific example, make one up. The examiners are not interested in how factual your examples are, just your ability to make one. Cohesive devices are also sometimes called ‘linking devices’ or ‘linking words’. Below are some examples:

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Band 7- Gives relevant ideas
, and these are developed
 with explanations or examples
, but
 these ideas
 may be too general or lack focus.

Example- The main problem causing traffic
 jams is too many
cars
. In many
cities
 around the world, there are lots of cars
, and this causes traffic
 jams. For example
, the number of cars
purchased
 in developing countries
 is increasing yearly.

This student has presented a clear
 position, but
 they have given
 a very
 general explanation, and their example
 lacks focus and is not specifically
 linked to the main point.

Band 8 –
 Gives relevant ideas
 and these are developed
 with focused and specific ideas
 and examples.

Example- The main problem causing traffic
 jams is too many
cars
. When we have more vehicles than a city’s infrastructure was designed
 for, it leads to congestion. For example
, Ho Chi Minh City was designed
 to cope with around 500, 000 cars
, and the city now
 has over 2 million cars
, resulting in chronic traffic
 problems.

This student has explained
 their point very
 well, explaining exactly why they think
 too many
cars
 are the problem and giving a very
 specific and relevant example
 to prove their point. If you can’t think
 of a specific example
, make
 one up. The examiners are not interested in how factual your examples
 are, just
 your ability to make
 one.

Cohesive devices are also
sometimes
 called ‘linking devices’ or ‘linking words’. Below are some
examples
: 

Do not write below this line

Official use only

5.5

6.5

OVERALL BAND SCORE

5.0

IELTS essay The idea is relevant, but they have failed to explain why cars cause traffic jams or give examples

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