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The bargraph describes the water usage for every year in Somecountry in millions of cubic meters.

The bargraph describes the water usage for every year in Somecountry in millions of cubic meters. 82B
The bargraph describes the water usage for every year in Somecountry in millions of cubic meters. The water usage are shown by two trends, ground water and public supply. Fuel and textiles are the ones that use the least water, 10 of public supply and 70 and 80 of ground water. Machinery are just the opposite of these two and has 10 of ground water and 100 of public supply. Food/drinks, metal, paper and chemicals are all over 100 of ground water where chemicals peaks at dramaticlly 430. The highest figure of water usage of public supply also belongs to chemicals (240). Next on the list is food/drinks with 190, the others are under 100. Overall, the chemical industry uses a lot more water than the rest of the industries in terms of both ground water and public supplies, and in general, most industries use ground water by far more than public supply. This is a good report, the trends are correctly noticed. Suggested improvements: use units in addition to numbers (10 of what? Millions of cubic meters). Use more connective words to smoothly move from one paragraph to another. Pay attention to grammar, see comments.
The
bargraph
describes
the
water
usage for every year in
Somecountry
in millions of cubic meters. The
water
usage
are shown
by two trends,
ground
water
and
public
supply
. Fuel and textiles are the ones that
use
the least
water
, 10 of
public
supply
and 70 and 80 of
ground
water
. Machinery
are
just
the opposite of these two and has 10 of
ground
water
and 100 of
public
supply. Food/drinks, metal, paper and
chemicals
are all over 100 of
ground
water
where
chemicals
peaks
at
dramaticlly
430. The highest figure of
water
usage of
public
supply
also
belongs to
chemicals
(240).
Next
on the list is food/drinks with 190, the others are under 100.
Overall
, the
chemical
industry
uses
a lot more
water
than the rest of the industries in terms of both
ground
water
and
public
supplies, and
in general
, most industries
use
ground
water
by far more than
public
supply. This is a
good
report, the trends are
correctly
noticed. Suggested improvements:
use
units
in addition
to numbers (10 of what? Millions of cubic meters).
Use
more connective words to
smoothly
move
from one paragraph to another. Pay attention to grammar,
see
comments.
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IELTS essay The bargraph describes the water usage for every year in Somecountry in millions of cubic meters.

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